” The subtle art of not giving a fuck” by Mark Manson
I can’t even stress how much this book blew my mind. It ranks as my first favorite of 2018 and stunned me to the point where I made everyone around me add it to their reading list. I started reading expecting some basic self-help manual filled with some cute quotes like “dance like no one is watching” but let me say this: this is not your average self-help book. It won’t pep talk you, it won’t make you feel light and hopeful. Instead, it will set some of your realities straight in a total bad cop/tough love way, almost making you feel like you are talking to that friend who is always too harsh and blunt about things. I am not one to re-read books instantly, but “the subtle art of not giving a fuck” is definitely a book I will read again this spring.
Doing things on my own
Long story short: my toilet clogged. Let me just start by saying that Darius and I became master toilets uncloggers since we moved to Toronto. That’s the magic of moving so far away, Mom is not a call away from you, you have to learn to keep your shit together and if you don’t well… Pardon the bluntness but there is literally no way to shit in peace. Moving definitely pushed me to become self-taught in a lot of things, to rush into adulthood, to not rely on anyone else to get shit done. So when the toilet clogged, I was confident that I got this, I proudly was Youtube tutorial trained after all. However, none of my magic tricks worked and there I was, desperate to unclog the toilet at 3AM. Darius had gone to bed early and spent the next day out of the house. That made me go from desperate to furious. Somehow, I automatically relied on him after hours of trying and not making it. Needless to say, next day and on four hours of sleep, I was through with the toilet, throwing a fit on my own. However, I didn’t give up and ended up fixing it eventually. I know this is a dumb thing, but I can’t even explain how proud I felt when this happened. I felt like a badass. Almost invincible, like there was nothing I couldn’t do.
Galantines Day with Mikayla Pink
Valentine’s day has never been my thing, but the way I celebrated it this year was simply everything. We initially had a plan to have dinner in a very Instagrammable location *bloggers being bloggers*, but since it was Vday and we had no reservations there was no way we could have the very bloggerish Vday we wanted. We tried our luck at the Cheesecake Factory and were told that we had to wait around 2 hours. Now, if you make me put make up on and dress like a girl, there is no way I am going to give up on dinner. So we waited. And browsed at Zara, went maccarons shopping at la durée, had fun taking polaroids around the mall and talked until it was 10.30PM and we were literally starving. When dinner time finally beeped on our buzzer, we were so grateful, it was all worth the wait and I don’t think we ever enjoyed a dinner that much.
Tessa and Scott
Probably watched this video a thousand times last month, cried a few times and it never fails to give me chills everytime I see it.
Have a clearer vision of what I want
Not knowing what you want in life is scary. If you asked me three years ago “what’s your life plan”, I would have probably answered, “Carpe Diem” to hide my embarrassment and cluelessness. For years, It made me feel like an outsider because all my friends seemed like they already had their life plans set. They are killing it in their careers, finding their big love, traveling the world and making memories. On my hand, it’s been fall after fall after fall. There was no steady road, no certainty, no clear vision. Until now. It stuns me to realize that struggle was the journey to certainty. To know exactly what I want and most importantly, what I don’t want. That all I needed was to go round and round in circles in order to accept who I am and find my purpose.
& Being surrounded by people that are beyond supportive when I don’t believe in myself
Being easier on myself & stop blaming myself for things I can’t control
Self-Blame is a huge part of my character. If something bad happens, I always automatically blame myself. You name it, it was my fault. Now, I am not perfect, many things might have gone wrong in my doing but far less than I what I hold myself accountable for. That was my epiphany of the month, shit happens and I got to learn to be more gentle with myself to feel worthy.
Star Wars, the Last Jedi
We all know Ican’t help being a geek for certain things and all apologies to my girly-ness but Star Wars is one of them. I don’t know about you but it feels SO good to have hobbies that are completely disconnected from the fashion and blogging world. Star Wars always ignites the kid in me and I can’t help but to love the new generation movies for introducing the first woman jedi protagonist. Well that and because of Adam Driver. *drooling*
Discovering women I can relate to.
I have been on the hunt for more blogs to read so if you have any recos, please let me know! One of my fave blogs to read this month is Katerina’s. She has the most amazing writing and soul, plus she is absolutely gorgeous!
A shitty month doesn’t mean an unhappy you
Lastly. February sucked. It was filled with many setbacks, cold days, conflicts and moments where I felt like giving up. However, that doesn’t mean I am unhappy. That doesn’t make me weak. Some months are going to suck but as I said before there are some things you just can’t control no matter how hard you try. So as I stopped trying, I started working on the only thing I can control: to smile at my own reflection.
sis!
You are so cute!
Are you even aware of how photogenic and beautiful you are!
Your blog litterally gives me life!
lots of love!
Britta
First things first, I got a lot of love for you b. I’ve had a shit night and morning, so this surprise and the warmth I felt reading myself pop up in your “10 happy things”, was so needed and has made me feel so happy. Might I also say LIKEWISE! & just thanks so much for the mention you queen.
“a shitty month doesn’t mean an unhappy you”; yes yes yes. I really can’t vibe with this time of the year, so overall I’ve been feeling crap, wanting the days to perk up and summer to start so perhaps it’ll finally revive me, but you’re so right – it’s a bad day or so, not a bad life, they’ll be shit times as well as good, we’ve just got to keep going. xxxx
Omg the toilet thing, I am still waiting on the day when I can do that myself 🙈🙈 but I’m learning some other new skills this year so that’s making me happy. My Feb wasn’t the greatest either but I also had a few moments of clarity and realisation so here’s to a better march for both of us.
xxx
Nice post and you are so beautiful. I’m back here.
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