Dear Love,

Do you even know how much I hate Valentine’s day? Or freaking heart shaped anything? Or pink anything? Or any kind of physical representation of anything related to love?

Dammit, you can say it, I know I am a weirdo, it is known and accepted by now. And before you roll your eyes and call me love frustrated I am going to stop you right away. Because being in love, my opinion was the same.

I used to be a love believer, like hard core fiercely devoted love believer: Rom-coms, books, songs and absolutely everything love related included. Creepy, I know. Mom blames it on Disney, she says she never should have left me watching these movies. You know, they are kind of the specialist of rising extremely high expectation.

When I think about it, I cringe. I can’t believe me and that person share the same memories, the same name, the same body, the same anything. But then again, the problem wasn’t to believe in love but all those expectations and behavior guides Society gives you all over the place. Like how to act when you just met a dude, when to text, when to not text, ignore him to be better chased, lie when you are bothered by something and say the typical ” I AM FINE”, not saying ” I love you” because it’s too soon or because he hasn’t said it yet. Pretending you are basically someone else because your normal self would actually not act that way.

We follow so many guidelines to be better loved but real love shouldn’t follow any rules.

That is what I believe in: I believe in one person that can blow you away so crazily you forget everything and everyone. You feel blank, like nothing ever hurt you, like you have an entire new book to start filling from now, like this person makes you want to drop all the dumb tricks you have played before to win the love game. And gosh you breathe, because it feels good to finally be yourself entirely, to drop every single barrier, to hand in your heart and let it beat at the speed it wants to beat at. To lose control, maybe even too much because you give all of you. Love is incredibly intimate and beautifully unique, So why the hell would we try to make this kind of feelings something global if we all live it differently?

It’s about feeling empowered, feeling beautiful, feeling that you shouldn’t change a damn thing about yourself because you are just perfect the way you are.

And you are. I promise you are. Truth is, You were before it happened to you but you suddenly believe it. I hate Valentine’s Day because so many people end up feeling sad about being single on that date. You know the typical image of a chick eating Ice Cream and saying “What have I done to be alone on that date?!”, well that’s what I am talking about. No one should feel that way, because being with a person just so you can keep up with everybody else is just freaking stupid. And picking a date to freaking celebrate, how much of a big love you are living is as well. Because Love should be celebrated everyday in every little thing like that thing that person does to make you happy when you are having a bad day, like the silences only you two share, like feeling grateful because you are going through a rough time yet feeling that someone holds your hand tightly,like having a bit of that person everyday even if he or she is not by your side, like feeling deep down you are doing the right choice without being able to give any rational explanation. Because you just feel it, you just know.

So Fuck it if your best friends have a Boyfriend, Fuck it if you are single or Fuck it if the person you are in love with doesn’t give you the love you deserve. Fight for Yourself. To never be with someone just because everybody else is happily committed to a relationship,To never depend on anyone to make you feel better about yourself but find that person that makes you feel like you are the best version of yourself.

Everybody has a different timing, you might have to experience some things before the real big fat love falls and literally sweeps you out of your feet. So Live. Do things that matter to your happiness, wear that lipstick everyday if you feel like it, because the biggest love relationship you will ever have is with yourself. Be yourself, your raw self. Because true love is the freedom of being honest, being real, going over the fear of not making anyone’s cut and finding your own voice. Don’t settle because love? It should never be chased or longly awaited as its magic is that it always comes in a surprise box. Most likely not a heart-shaped one on Valentine’s day. Thanks god.

Lots of Love (ironically this time) always,

Neguine